Strap-On Harnesses

What Is a Strap-On Harness?

Strap-on harnesses are great toys for couples that are looking to switch up their bedroom experiences. While typical models have various buckles and straps to adjust the harness to your body, others can look like normal panties or underwear with a place to attach the dildo.

The strap-on harness has an area at the front, typically where a male penis would be, that either comes with a dildo already hooked onto the strap or has space for you to customize your look.

Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced strap-on harness user, there’s always something new to try with this sex toy. You can usually change out the dildo, experiment with new positions, and even switch control with your partner. It’s a way to add some spice to your sex life and switch roles for the evening.

This toy is great for both vaginal and anal sex and can be used by men and women, depending on the type! It’s a highly customizable toy that is comfortable to wear and use, giving you more power in bed. There’s plenty of reasons couples might want to introduce this piece to the bedroom, but the ultimate reason is simply for fun!

Types of Strap-On Harnesses

Dildo Harness

Dildo harnesses are of a customizable variety. While some strap-on harnesses come with their own dildo attached, many let you remove and switch out the dildo with your own favorite piece. These are your standard harnesses with an “O-ring”, where you can insert and remove a dildo.

You’ll need to make sure the O-ring is big enough since many aren’t flexible enough to stretch around all dildo heads. However, some models come with the ability to switch out the O-ring. This leaves you with even more customizable capabilities for whatever size you’re looking to try out.

Vibrating Harnesses

These harnesses have a vibrating dildo strapped to the front. Some have a removable bullet vibrator inserted into a hollowed dildo, a dildo that vibrates with its own remote control system, or a harness with a vibration setting built-in.

The vibration is often for the benefit of the person being penetrated, but some harnesses can give pleasure to both partners involved. If you can’t find one you’re compatible with, consider investing in a good cock ring to use with your strap-on to create a similar effect.

Hollow Harnesses

There are many reasons a male partner may want to use a hollow dildo: he may have erectile dysfunction, he may be training you for something thicker, or more.

These harnesses will have more room for a man to wear them comfortably; it will have sufficient space for his balls to rest, and the dildo will be firm and thick, so there’s room for his penis to fit in. For women utilizing hollow harnesses, you can typically fit a small vibrator inside to give your partner pleasure.

Occasionally, women prefer the hollow harnesses because they’re thicker than the average dildo that comes with a strap-on harness.

Pegging Harness

These are crafted specifically for anal play. The dildo that comes attached to the end of these harnesses will be designed specifically to reach a man’s prostate. From this, your man can experience an orgasm similar to when your G-spot is stimulated – it’s a bundle of nerves that hits their pleasure point just right! The dildos for these strap-on harnesses are typically skinnier and not anatomically penis-shaped. They’re also curved at the end to better connect with the prostate.

What Is the Best Strap-on Harness for Beginners?

As a beginner, always go for comfort over style. Whether you’re a beginner with a strap-on harness, pegging your partner, or using a dildo on another person, you’ll need to pick something that you’re going to be comfortable in.

Find a soft, underwear-style strap-on harness that doesn’t have many complicated straps. It’s also best to find one that doesn’t come with a built-in dildo, giving you the chance to use something you’re more familiar with. You have two good options as a beginner: a G-string and a jockstrap.

A G-string is like a thong, with a piece of material going in between your legs and between your butt cheeks to connect back with the harness belt. On the other hand, a jockstrap has two strips – they connect at the base of the front of the harness, splitting to wrap around your butt rather than going straight up and connecting with the harness belt.

How to Choose the Right Harness

When it comes to knowing what kind of harness to bring into the bedroom, find something you and your partner will both be comfortable with. A customizable harness with comfortable material like faux leather or silk will be the easiest to give you both something to look forward to.

If you don’t have a favorite dildo to pair with it, or you’re looking for something new, it’s a great idea to get their input. Find something that you’ll control, and become comfortable using it as an extension of yourself. The right dildo will also depend on whether you’re going to use it for vaginal or anal penetration.

It’s always a good idea to browse sex shops or online stores for various strap-on additions, giving you a better idea of what you might want to bring to bed.

It’s a good idea to test out the strap-on harness solo before bringing it into bed with your partner. This is sometimes the best way to know if it will work for you as a beginner.

Try it on, test different positions and motions, and see if you can troubleshoot any issues before considering returning a piece you’re not compatible with. Solo practice is a great way to cut out any awkward fumbling, anyway.

How to Use a Strap-on Harness

1. Slip Into It.

You can typically step into a strap-on harness like regular underwear. Stick one leg in and then the other! If you have a strap-on that has more adjustable features, like an adjustable jockstrap, you’ll need to make sure the material is laying correctly. It will be very uncomfortable halfway through to find out the gripping feeling in your thigh is from a twisted strap.

For strap-on harnesses that are less like underwear and more like a spider’s web, there are often product instructions or models that give you a better idea of which strap goes where. This is to ensure that you won’t be losing circulation anywhere important.

An additional step for these harnesses would be to lay it out first, getting your bearings on the various straps before putting your leg into the wrong hole.

2. Adjust the Straps.

After you’ve got the harness into position, you’ll need to tighten or loosen the straps to fit comfortably. However, make sure you’re moving around to test out the comfort. It’s advisable to test this out before you start any foreplay so that you’re not adjusting for ten minutes and accidentally kill the mood.

After you’ve adjusted the straps, move around and simulate having sex with your partner. This will alert you to any areas that are too tight or too loose that will cause problems halfway through.

3. Choose Your Dildo.

If you have a harness that has a customizable front, take the time to discuss with your partner what they’re in the mood for. Whether you insert the dildo before or after you put on the harness will depend on the type of harness you buy.

This step should still be conducted after you’ve adjusted the straps to fit on your legs and butt properly. This is because any adjustments you’ll need to make because of the dildo will only take a few quick pulls or releases of the straps.

4. Add Lube.

You always want to add lube when inserting a sex toy into you or someone else. If you’re using a silicone dildo, do not use silicone-based lube – it will deteriorate the material. Water-based and oil-based lubes are just as useful.

The amount of lube you use will depend on whether you’re having vaginal or anal sex. Because the anus isn’t self-lubricating, you’ll need to use more here. Adjust how much lube you add to be sure you’re comfortable and don’t have any irritating friction.

5. Insert.

Now that you’re ready and prepared, it’s time to insert the dildo! Be conscious of how the strap-on harness feels as you’re moving, making any adjustments to the straps when necessary. Also, listen to your partner if something about the harness is irritating them – make sure you don’t have any straps getting in the way!

Test out various positions, which will depend on whether you’re having vaginal or anal sex and your experience levels with these. With certain dildos, it’s best to stick to sex from behind to make sure the curve is hitting the right places.

However, if you’re more familiar with your dildo, your partner, and how best to use them together, take this time to explore new ways to switch up their pleasure.

6. Removal.

Removing a strap-on harness dildo is similar to removing your sex toys. Be careful and listen to your partner about any possible discomfort. Hold the harness base for additional support as you pull out, especially if you’re removing it from the anus. This typically has more resistance to both entering and exiting objects, so you’ll be giving your harness a hand with removal.

7. Clean.

You always need to keep your sex toys clean to extend their usefulness. This also keeps you and your partner healthy. If possible, remove the dildo from the end of the harness. You’ll wash this like the rest of your sex toys. With warm water and soap or a specialized sex toy cleaner, wash it off thoroughly and dry completely before storing.

The harness, on the other hand, can typically be washed with the rest of your laundry. If you have a material that shouldn’t be used in the washing machine, be sure to read the product instructions in detail.

This will give you a better idea of how to remove lube and bodily fluids from the toy and how to dry it properly. If you’re ever unsure how to properly clean it, consult an online resource from the manufacturer or ask their customer support.

How Much Does a Strap-on Harness Cost?

The price of your new strap-on harness is going to depend on the kind of features you’re looking for. Realistically, these sets could range anywhere from $25 to $200.

A beginner set will typically be on the lower end of the price range because they typically come with slimmer dildos and occasionally less durable material. Something that will last you through the Apocalypse in all of its customizable, vibrating glory, can be around $160.

Shopping at your local sex shop will allow you to discuss what you’re looking for with knowledgeable employees. Even without going into too much detail, they can typically lead you in the right direction of what you’re going to want to start or continue with. Online shopping can be just as productive, allowing you to look over a variety of choices from size to color to vibration features.

Remember to get some input from your partner if you’re unsure how to proceed and always look at product reviews from reputable manufacturers.

Mikel Rodriguez

Mikel is a video producer and tech-savvy blogger who works part-time for BestSexToys. He's also the brain behind all our video content. His interest in various sex toys makes him the perfect fit for his position. He's currently part of the team that evaluates and reviews newly-launched sex toys' performances prior to featuring them on our list.

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Last Update: Dec. 13, 2024