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How To Increase Your Sex Drive


It’s a common scenario: one of you wants to have sex but the other is not just in the mood. Being not in the mood for sex is common, but what’s unusual is if it happens every day. If that’s the case, you’re probably experiencing low libido.

According to OB-GYN Pari Ghodsi, if you’re experiencing a low sex drive and it hasn’t bothered you nor it had a negative impact on your relationship with your partner, then you have nothing to worry about. But if your decreased libido is causing you mental distress and relationship problems, it may be time to look into the cause of your low sex drive in order to work towards a solution.

5 Most Common Causes of Low Sex Drive

The first step to fix a problem is to identify the cause. There are a lot of factors that can negatively affect your sex drive, but here are the most common ones:

1. Stress

Stress is the most common factor that affects sex drive in both men and women. When you’re feeling stressed, your hormone levels are disrupted, causing you to feel less interested in any sexual activity. In addition to decreased libido, a study of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) reveals that stress disorder increased the risk of sexual dysfunction more than threefold.

However, stress is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be managed. Practicing stress management techniques, such as breathing exercises and meditation, and talking to a therapist may help.

2. Low Self-Esteem

Lack of confidence not only takes a toll on your emotional health and well-being but also on your sexual encounters. Low self-esteem causes anxiety about sexual performance, which further leads to issues with erectile dysfunction (ED) and reduced sexual desire.

It goes without saying that if you feel that you’re unattractive or undesirable, it will likely make you want to avoid having sex altogether.

3. Prescriptions

Sometimes, the root of the problem is sitting right there in your medicine cabinet. There are some medications that can lead to a decreased interest in sexual activity, including certain antidepressants and birth control pills. If you believe there’s a possibility that your prescription meds could be the culprit, it is best to consult with a medical professional.

4. Alcohol and Drug Use

Excessive alcohol drinking, specifically more than 14 mixed drinks in a week, is linked to a decreased sex drive. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advise that an average adult’s alcohol intake must be limited to two glasses daily, any more than that can lead to serious long-term health deterioration.

In addition to alcohol, the use of tobacco, marijuana, and illicit drugs such as opiates can also result in a lack of sexual desire.

5. Too Little or Too Much Exercise

Too little exercise (or none at all) can result in several health problems that can affect sexual desire and arousal. The same goes for over-exercising, which has also been shown to affect sexual health.

The study of how endurance exercise training affects sexual libido reveals that higher levels of chronic intense and extensive endurance training over a long period of time are strongly associated with low sex drive, especially in men.

8 Ways to Increase Your Sex Drive

Ways to increase sexual drive
Being touchy helps for a quick-boost of libido.

Here’s what you can do to increase your sex drive and get your relationship and sex life back on track.

1. Focus on Improving Relationship Quality

When was the last time you and your partner enjoyed quality time together? If you and your partner have been together for a while, date nights and quality time together are probably not a priority anymore. If that’s the case in your relationship, it could be exactly why you are experiencing decreased interest in any sexual activity.

Most people experience a lack of sexual desire at a certain point in a relationship. This often occurs after being with someone for a long time, or if a person feels that things are not going well in the relationship. Improving relationship quality can increase sexual desire.

There are several ways to achieve an improved relationship quality, including but not limited to, planning date nights, doing activities together outside the bedroom, practicing open communication, and setting time aside for quality time together.

2. Try Something New To Spice Up Your Sex Life

It is easy to fall into a routine of scripted sex. That means, same day, same time, and same position. Monotonous sex is dull, boring, and lifeless, and it could be the culprit of your low libido. This can easily be addressed by doing something new, something out of your routine.

If you always have sex in your bedroom, maybe you can book a nice hotel to spend the night in and surprise your partner. If you always do the same sex positions, perhaps you can try new positions you and your partner haven’t done before and making use of sex toys.

Spicing things up in your sex life can help eliminate that sense of monotony. Trying out something new during sex can also make you feel the excitement of exploring something you haven’t done before.

3. Pay Attention to Foreplay

Foreplay is a crucial part of sex that is often forgotten. Having a great overall sex experience may help increase one’s desire for sex. According to a study conducted in 2017, only around 18 percent of women orgasm for intercourse alone, while 33.6 percent of women reveal that clitoris stimulation is essential for them to be fully satisfied. What the study conveys is clear: a sexual experience can be achieved by spending more time on touching, kissing, using sex toys, and performing oral sex during foreplay.

4. Pleasure Yourself


There is a hormonal explanation as to why self-pleasure can increase libido. Masturbation boosts testosterone levels, and testosterone is what fuels your sex drive. On top of that, masturbating strengthens the neural connections between our genitals and the places in the brain that register sexual sensation and pleasure. Masturbation will strengthen those pleasure pathways, making it easier to achieve orgasms.

Pleasuring yourself will also help you understand your body, and what feels good to you and what doesn’t. Understanding what works for you to achieve pleasure can help you improve your sex experience. If you have a great sex experience, you will naturally want to have sex again.

5. Break a Sweat

Do you perform intense workouts? Or do you hate exercising? The best way to exercise, especially if you’re experiencing low sex drive, is to perform moderate workouts regularly. Too little or too much exercise may result to a decreased sexual desire. So, similar to many other things, moderation is key.

In addition, regular exercise boosts self-esteem, and that confidence will follow you to the bedroom. If you don’t feel good about yourself, then you certainly don’t want to get naked. But if you’re feeling sexy and confident, it’s more likely that you’ll want to flaunt and share your body with your partner.

6. Assess Your Pain

It’s hard to desire something that is uncomfortable or painful. If you’re experiencing any pain or discomfort during sex, it only makes sense that your libido will plummet and you won’t be interested in having sex again. Pain during sex occurs mostly to menopausal women who experience vaginal dryness as the root of their discomfort.

If using a lubricant doesn’t make the sex any better, perhaps it’s time to go see a doctor. Dr. Megan Fleming, a clinical psychologist, and a certified sex therapist, strongly suggests that in the occurrence of seeing a doctor due to pain or discomfort during sex, a gynecologist should be the first doctor you see because you have to be certain that you’re physically well before anything else.

7. Cut Back on Alcohol and Smoking

Cut alcohol and smoking

Unwinding with a glass of red wine a day is fairly harmless. In fact, red wine is a widely recommended aphrodisiac that boosts your sex drive. But if you’re consuming way too much alcohol and smoking a lot, you will be dealing with various severe health complications other than a depleted libido.

Dr. Ghodsi suggests cutting back on alcohol and taking note of how much alcohol you’re consuming on a weekly basis. This strategy will help you see if your alcohol intake has a correlation to your declined libido.

8. Kick Back and Relax

Stress is the most common culprit of low sex drive. The last thing you want to do when you’re experiencing depleted libido is to give yourself a hard time by constantly thinking about it. If anything, stressing over it will only make things worse.

Reduce your stress by taking your mind off it. Do the things you love, whether that’s watching a movie, reading a book, knitting, anything that will keep your mind occupied. When you’re busy, shifting your attention to multiple tasks at once, sex is probably the last thing on your mind. The lesser you think about it, the lesser you will be stressed over it. The more relaxed you are, the more chances of your sex drive getting back on track.

Scientifically-Proven Aphrodisiacs That Boost Your Sex Drive

An aphrodisiac is a substance that naturally increases sexual desire, sexual pleasure, sexual performance, and overall sexual health. This substance can be found in certain foods, drinks, herbs, spices, and synthetic chemicals. While there are a lot of rumored aphrodisiacs, not all of them are backed by scientific evidence.

Listed below are 6 scientifically-proven aphrodisiacs that can boost your sex drive:

Proven aphrodisiacs

1. Red Ginseng

Ginseng is an easy-to-find supplement that is known for its several potential health benefits. A small, recent study concluded that ginseng outperformed placebo in terms of treating sexual dysfunction. Ginseng can be purchased at most health food stores, pharmacies, and online in the form of fresh or raw ginseng, tablets, capsules, liquid extracts, and powder.

2. Maca

Maca is a medicinal plant that has historically been used to improve fertility and boost sex drive. In addition, a study published in the National Library of Medicine reveals that Maca may have potential in treating sexual dysfunction induced by antidepressants. Maca can be purchased at most health food stores, pharmacies, and online in the form of capsules, liquid extracts, and powder.

3. Red wine

Sexual drive aphrodisiacs

According to a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, regular moderate intake of red wine is associated with improved sexual desire, lubrication, and overall sexual function.

However, it is important to acknowledge that these findings were based on a small sample size of red wine. Consuming too much alcohol could be counter-productive, as it may have reverse effects on libido. That being said, moderation is key.

4. Apples

An apple a day not only keeps the doctor away, but it also keeps your partner close. A study conducted by a group of gynecologists and obstetricians reveals that apple consumption on a daily basis is associated with better sexual quality of life in young women.

While the study only suggests a correlation between apple consumption and sexual health, it doesn’t eliminate the fact that apples are still nutritious, and eating one apple a day definitely won’t hurt.

5. Pistachio Nuts

Pistachio nuts are particularly rich in protein, fiber, and healthy fats. In addition to its various health benefits, a study suggests that it also helps reduce symptoms of erectile dysfunction.

In the study, men who consumed 3.5 ounces (100 grams) of pistachio nuts per day for a period of three weeks experienced improved blood flow to the penis, resulting in firmer erections. These effects are caused by the ability of pistachios to improve blood cholesterol and stimulate healthier blood flow throughout the body.

6. Saffron

Saffron is a spice derived from the Crocus sativus flower, a native plant to Southwest Asia. It is a widely recommended aphrodisiac that works best for low sex drive induced by antidepressants. In a study performed by experts, it was observed that a group of men consumed 30 mg of saffron per day for four weeks experienced significant improvements in erectile function.

In addition, a follow-up study reveals that women who consumed the same amount of saffron for the same period of time experienced higher levels of arousal and increased lubrication.

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About the Author

Sopiko is a passionate writer and editor who handles all our content-related publications. She also conducts researches, surveys, and ocular visits to various sex toy shops to ensure that our products and content are always up-to-date and relevant to the modern-day lifestyle. Her dedication has pushed BestSexToys to become the leading source of information when it comes to sex toys.

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Comments on How To Increase Your Sex Drive (1)

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Sopiko Iagan Sep 14, 2020, 10:42 pm
Media Staff

Men and women tend to overthink too much when they shouldn't. Relaxation is clue to give your best.


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