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Why Does My Girlfriend Feel Loose Sometimes


Women get easily offended by questions that concern vaginal looseness. This makes it a highly sensitive topic between couples, which can raise a lot of issues. In some cases, it can affect a woman so badly that her sexual confidence would start to deteriorate.

So for men out there, try to practice wisdom and maturity if you’re dealing with this situation with your girlfriend. It doesn’t help to ask her upfront, but you can benefit from knowing the facts.

Are you wondering why your girlfriend feels loose sometimes? Before you jump to dirty and insulting conclusions, be aware that sex does not have a lasting or permanent impact on vaginal tension despite several myths. During sexual arousal, the vaginal muscles relax, which enables penetrative sex. After sex, the vagina returns to its normal shape and tension.

In conclusion, while there are numerous myths about the effect of sex on the vagina, no clear-cut or scientific evidence proves that sex causes vaginal loosening over time.

So, yes, you can exhale now and set aside whatever thoughts you might have in your mind. Whatever it is, it is not exactly what you’re thinking.

You must understand that no two bodies are ever the same. Sex with a new partner may feel different, which can be attributed to many things. Whether you’re new in a relationship or you’ve been together for quite a long time now, you can benefit from knowing that the female body goes through many changes with the passage of years.

Aside from the hormonal changes, a woman’s mood can also significantly affect her sexual responses.

Now, let’s find out the reasons as to why she feels loose sometimes during sex.

1. Extreme Sexual Arousal.

The vagina is momentarily more open before, during, and after penetrative sex. This is comparable to the mouth stretching out wide open to yawn then returns into its original form. The same goes for the vagina, when your girlfriend experiences extreme sexual arousal, her vagina becomes naturally lubricated as it widens to accommodate a penis.

This response reverses once the arousal state is over. Therefore, contrary to some beliefs, sex does not have a loosening effect on the vagina. In most cases, the vagina’s ability to produce its natural lubrication makes it very slippery that there is hardly any friction during penetrative sex.

Shouldn’t that be more flattering on your part, knowing that you’re able to turn her extremely on?

So if you hear guys joking about having sex with a woman who is loose down there, don’t believe them. It’s unlikely that a man can tell the difference between a woman who’s sexually-active or not, unless he has a really small penis, to begin with.

2. Vaginal Trauma.

Direct trauma to the vagina is typically caused by an injury, accident, or sexual abuse. This may contribute to vaginal looseness or VRS (Vaginal Relaxation Syndrome). This may be difficult to discuss with your girlfriend, which is why it is best not to raise the topic at all if it brings back traumatic memories.

Vaginal trauma is often due to a painful experience, such as sexual abuse. In some cases, it can occur as a result of straddle injury and other distressing accidents. Severe injuries that require immediate medical attention may leave lasting effects to the vagina, which may also diminish a woman’s sexual responses.

If your girlfriend had a history of sexual abuse, trauma, or a non-related accident that severely caused injury to her vagina, it could be a reason why she feels loose (or tight) sometimes. Her body’s responses to vaginal sex may sometimes be directly influenced by her past experiences. Hence, you can sense her feeling tighter at times and looser during other times.

Here’s something that you should understand, though. Vaginal tightness could mean that she’s in a stressful state and is actually having a hard time relaxing. This causes tension in her vaginal muscles. On the other hand, vaginal looseness could mean that she’s more relaxed, responsive to foreplay, and sexually turned-on.

3. Advancing Age.

Advanced age
Advancing age.

The pelvic floor muscles that surround the vagina may weaken over time. This causes a feeling of looseness in the vagina. Why does this happen? As a woman ages, the different muscles in her body become more relaxed, and this includes the vaginal muscles.

There are many factors that contribute to this, such as hormonal changes, reduction of collagen in the body, and the natural aging process.

With aging, there is also a decrease in muscle and connective tissue, which eventually leads to sagging and looseness.

However, you must understand that the aging process varies between women to a great extent. Some already experience noticeable changes in their bodies around their mid 30’s, while others are still at their best youthful shape at this age. It all depends on how a woman takes care of herself and her body.

So consider your girlfriend’s age. If you think that age is indeed a factor, proper nutrition, vitamins and minerals, exercise, and collagen supplements can help bring back her muscles’ vitality. According to health experts, a healthy and active lifestyle can significantly delay aging and prevent overall muscle weakness.

4. Childbirth / Vaginal Delivery.

Vaginal looseness is normal and a common consequence of childbirth. The vaginal walls are made up of collagen and fibrous tissues contributing significantly to its strength and elasticity.

During childbirth, the stress of vaginal delivery can reduce the area’s sensitivity and tightness and may become overly stretched during the labor process.

This condition refers to vaginal laxity or that feeling of looseness to the vagina. It may reduce sexual satisfaction due to the lack of friction. However, this is something that you should never take against her. A woman’s body goes through a lot of changes with every milestone and chapter in her life.

If the looseness bothers your girlfriend and it’s affecting your sexual relationship, consider discussing this matter with a Gynecologist or with your health care provider. In this modern age, Kegel exercisers, pelvic tilt exercises, physical therapy, and other treatment options (vaginoplasty) can do wonders for the vaginal muscles.

5. Body and Hormonal Changes.

A woman’s body changes over time due to weight loss, weight gain, and illness. These can all have a direct impact to a woman’s overall health, vitality, and hormones. Penetrative sex might feel different as well, as the natural ability of the vagina to produce its own lubrication may somehow be affected, as well as the elasticity of the vaginal muscles.

This could give you the impression that your girlfriend feels loose sometimes. Weight changes due to hormonal factors may have a direct effect on a woman’s vagina and overall sexual responses.

Hormones such as estrogen and testosterone may become severely affected, causing hormonal imbalance and lack of libido. This may lead to loosening of the vaginal muscles, along with a decrease in lubrication, sensitivity, and sex drive.

6. Sexual Positions.

Some sexual positions can have a direct effect on how tight or loose your girlfriend’s vagina feels. For example, some positions contribute to a tighter fit, while some make you feel less satisfied because her vagina feels loose.

If your girlfriend is extremely turned-on and her vagina is too wet and slippery from its natural lubrication, expect her to feel loose during vaginal penetration. Positions such as the basic missionary position, cowgirl position, face-off with a woman on top, reverse cowgirl, and the seashell position can all make a wet vagina feel loose.

So if you’re constantly having sex in these positions, you might be overly accustomed to them that you no longer feel the excitement. In sex, becoming excessively familiar with a particular position, and its accompanying sensation, may reduce its thrill over time.

This could be the reason why you no longer feel that same level of overwhelming impact and tightness during vaginal penetration.

Your girlfriend may do loads of Kegel exercise to increase vaginal tightness, but there are also sexual positions that can make her feel tighter up to several notches. Examples of these are; the doggy style, leapfrog position (modified doggy style), scoop-me-up position (penetrating her from behind), and other positions that don’t require her to spread her legs wide open.

7. Medical Conditions and Stress.

The existence of a medical condition can make a woman’s vagina feel loose sometimes. Some examples are a genetic disorder that affects collagen metabolism, muscular conditions, and pelvic surgery. The symptoms of these conditions may occur periodically that sometimes, you feel that your girlfriend’s vagina seems loose.

Intense physical activity and stress can also affect the vaginal muscles’ sexual responses and cause laxity or looseness. The female hormones are party to blame for this. So perhaps lifestyle changes can be beneficial while focusing more on adequate sleep, rest, and relaxation.

8. Lack of Physical Activity and Poor Nutrition.

Careful with physical activity
Lack of physical activity and or poor nutrition.

A sedentary lifestyle, lack of proper nutrition, and an unhealthy diet can affect vaginal strength over time. If the muscles and connective tissues in the vaginal passage receive inadequate nourishment, it can make them dull and unhealthy. The dullness of the vaginal muscles can eventually cause looseness and results in a wider passage.

Ask your girlfriend if she’s getting the right nutrition in her diet. Excessive dieting can lead to electrolyte imbalance and micronutrient deficiency. When this happens, all the vital organs and muscles in the body may become severely affected – including the vaginal muscles. To prevent this from happening, it’s important to load up all the essential nutrients and maintain a well-balanced diet.

Foods that contribute to the overall vitality of the vagina are; avocadoes, leafy greens, apples, and pro-biotic rich foods such as yogurt and fermented foods.


Unless she is suffering from a medical condition, don’t be bothered even if your girlfriend feels loose sometimes. There are some factors that can weaken her pelvic floor muscles and make her vagina lose its elasticity.

If you think that she can benefit from pelvic floor physical therapy and Kegels exercises, communicate these natural remedies with her in a subtle way. You may also consider consulting a doctor. However, do not rely on vaginal tightening products such as vaginal creams and tightening pills.

There is no clinical evidence that supports their claims, and they can be extremely harmful to the vaginal tissues and its pH balance.

As an end-note, if you are worrying that your girlfriend is sometimes getting loose because of having too much sex, rest in the assurance that this is not the case.

Knowing the facts can save you from doubts and misconceptions. So just go ahead and have as much fun as you want with her.

Michael Grant Image
About the Author

Michael Grant is an excellent writer and storyteller, which makes him one of the essential pillars of the content creation team. He's constantly traveling around the U.S. and loves attending numerous training and workshops on marketing and product development. He loves surprising the team with fresh ideas and the latest developments in the sex toy industry. His other interests include music and sports.

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